Reality spills

I was hoping to see you last night when I closed my eyes and folded  into a fetusal  position,hoping you would see how miserable my heart was from all these wars hidden within these walls,how my eyes were filled with tears of a dead man who has cried out his soul and his happiness,and how my smile is so clearly drawn on,am such a clown,I guess it makes me feel better,just like cutting arteries in parallel lines and starring at blood spills,your pain is in the heart your arteries carry spiritual malady,reality spills your agony sings.

death is quite and life is loud,am trying to be a peaceful soul,without causing a riot that awakens historical pain,like how we are now taught who we are by western professors,we such lost souls,how does someone who wanted you dead and treated you like dirt automatically wants to coexist with you,how do you forget so fast about your uncle who was molested by gas and electrical chairs,remember your aunt they left her to rot in that jail cell,your grandfather was beaten up to a numb state and still our mines,land and wealth are a debate,don't you forget your older brother who was diced with pangas by anc comrades that mandela orchestrated while in jail.